contemplating fatherhood

Blog resuscitation

I am here to address a couple of things. The first, obviously, is my complete abandonment of the blog. In my defense, it is better to abandon my blog than abandon my baby. I have even suffered a few "carefrontations" from alleged readers. CAREfrontation is residence life lingo for situations when you "care" enough about the person to confront him/her about their failings. All this is done in a non judgmental and relativist manner. Usually parents and/or the corporate industrial complex are blamed. In response, I promise (mostly to myself because as I have recently learned by watching the Tyra Banks show, self love is the cornerstone to fulfillment and personal responsibility) that there will be a flurry of posts in the next few days. Please ignore the dates not matching the postings (no, we didn't celebrate Thanksgiving in mid December.) Also, if you have a shopping addiction, Tyra is looking for guests on her show. Call them; she cares and will get you the help you need...and a make-over if you play your cards right.

The second issue I need to address is my "conflation" of events involving two separate visitors. Molly dutifully pointed out that in my last posting that I combined some of the details from Jen and Tom's visit with the details from Julie and James' visit. It turns out that I confused a visit where we hosted two small children and went on a tiger hunt (Julie and James) with a visit where we loaded down the pram with alcohol and hoagies (Tom and Jen, NYC slicksters, pictured above). Honest mistake, and one I am sure is made often. If any patients in Connecticut now worry their doctors are alcoholics with bad parenting and worse dietary habits, rest assured that it was wholesome family fun for the Connecticut folks...there was even a volvo wagon involved. That said, please note I can only confirm that their time in New Jersey was alcohol and hoagie free; I cannot speak to their conduct in the privacy of their own home in Guilford. For all I know they feed little Nola Magic Hat beers and cheesesteaks around the clock. I don't know- I am not there. Perhaps there are telling signs. I'm just saying...two doctor parents, perfect kids and a perfect little house by the town green. It just screams skeletons in the closet, you know? But NJ was dry and steak-um free.

As for Jen and Tom, we were just relieved they didn't get Finn hooked on any of that crystal meth which is all the rage with the city folks up there in the concrete jungle. If you enlarge the picture you can see Finn giving a blank stare constructed with a perfect mix of profound paternal disappointment and crushing boredom. I am sure he wanted to take the train back to the city and really live, you know? Feel the pulse of the great metropolis. Jen and Molly look like secret sorority sisters as they have taken some version of this photo (the girl-besties arm in arm picture) a thousand times in countless dorm rooms around a beer die table in snowed in Colby College. Tom looks justifiably creeped out that some guy (namely me) just said "wait, we need a picture for my blog"...if he knew how to call a cab in the burbs I am certain he would have foregone my offer of a ride to the station.

Connecticonnection

Ok the posts are backlogged again. Damn you demanding baby...the thing is he is always there. Would it kill him to make a friend and go out for a movie or a sleep over? Maybe his social life would pick up a bit if he stopped spitting up on his clothes and/or stopped going the bathroom in his pants.

The pictures above are from a recent visit from our favorite Liebermaniacs, the doctors Cron-Lai (not to be confused with my high school friend Khan Thai, who incidentally is also a doctor). They came rolling from the Nutmeg north like bats out of hell and we had an awesome time touring PTON. It was a beautiful fall day and went on a tiger hunt on campus, got hoagies from the Haven (yes, I wept tears of joy that this dinner plan got green-lighted), and then completely loaded down the Blue Thunda with beer and wine (pictured above). A stroller loaded down with booze, that is how they roll in Connecticut. We had a blast hanging out while 6 year old Hayden babysat his younger sister Nola and Finn. James and I launched his next career trajectory as an on air medical expert....see the enclosed video and tell me that the camera doesn't LOVE this guy. We will have him in the NY or Philly market in the next three years. Any readers from William Morris, call my people and we can set up a lunch at Jean Georges....let's bang out a deal over the seven course tasting menu. Done and done.

blog confession: I was waiting for the Crons and Molly to come out of the liquor store (you all know how hard it is to get Molly out of a liquor store once she gets going) and decided to take a picture of Finn under the liquor banner with my phone. I then stood on a waist high wall to get the shot of Finn and the sign in the frame. Noticing that a guy had come up behind me (we were right by the door) and saw me taking the picture, I sheepishly told him "It's for my blog." He looked at the baby, the alcohol sign, shook his head in disgust and went in the store. Shameful. I am pleased to report that the cheesesteak photos were taken moments later without incident.

YES WE CAN!

Big election day for the Dunne family...Phineas' first presidential election. I know this has been a hotly contested election, but I never expected the two candidates to stop by this morning to give an in-person plug for our votes (see photos above). And to think New Jersey isn't even a swing state! Obama took a look at the condition of the outside of our house and yard and said we qualify for an even bigger tax cut, so good news for us on Nov. 5th! When Sen. McCain came by, Finn started to cry, but we were thrilled to hear him utter his first words "No corporate welfare for multi-national corporations like Exxon Mobil." Wow, that was a mouthful and more than a little surprising. And a part of my heart broke when his first words didn't include "dad" or "Boston College."

The weather was amazing here today so we walked up to the polls as a little happy family. Finn was wearing his "Babies for Obama" onesie given to him by Carol the democratic zealot in the admission office, and we were happy to support the team. On our way up the hill (it may not be a hill exactly but I am so out of shape it definitely feels like one) we ran into the babysitter who rejected a pre-born Finn from her daycare spot. She waved us over from across the street, and Molly hissed to me "What if the babysitter is not a democrat?" Thinking that I didn't have enough time to rip off the onesie, I mummified Finn in his blanket. Hey, I am all about Obama's message of HOPE as much as the next guy, but we are talking childcare people...nothing is out of bounds. I would steal Obama's kidney (before he had secret service detail) to get a spot in this woman's daycare operation. It is located about five houses up from ours...the kids look so dang happy...and did I mention it is five houses up from ours? We do need to balance the needs of our young child with the needs of our aging PT Cruiser (for the love of God give us two more years of no car payments). Luckily, she is a big democrat (in Princeton, imagine that) and got a kick out of the Obama onesie. I am going to do a reverse smear campaign on some of the other kids in the class...just throw a Bush/Cheney '04 sticker on their cars when they are dropping off one of their lucky spot-hogging brats. Let's see if that doesn't loosen up the roster of her daycare a bit.

We finally got to the fire house and cast our ballots. Molly still is under Bracken...she just loves having an out clause. I am going to order Sleeping with the Enemy on netflix just to send a subtle message. (Wow, domestic violence jokes...a new low for the blog.) She got to take Finn into the voting booth (pictured above) so he could officially say he voted in this historic election. When she finished there was a raft of "check the age on that voter" jokes. Ha ha ha. Man, volunteer election sites are funny places. To be fair, we did vote in what appeared to be a bar attached to the fire house. Should we encourage volunteer fire fighters to drink on duty? When Molly answered that Finn was two months old, the young volunteer exclaimed, "Two months, you look FANTASTIC." Ok, buddy, that's my wife and I am standing right here...now I see why Molly likes to keep her "Bracken" name; it's like she is marlin fishing down in the Keys. I am gonna get on this name change issue.

So, our work is done and now we wait. We have a big election returns party on campus tonight. Remember, we are not a red country. Nor a blue country. We are a Dancing with the Stars country. And a professional wrestling country. And super-size fries country. Let our greed, naked self-interest, and xenophobia unite us once again as the greatest exporter of slasher movies, t-shirts with crude double entendre "johnson" jokes, and over-priced jeans and basketball shoes. Let us bring hi-def t.v. and processed junk food with Disney movie tie-ins to the masses across the world.

Cue Lee Greenwood's "Proud to be an American" and fade to a long shot of the golden wheat fields of Kansas, followed by a shot of a sunset with the Santa Monica pier in silhouette (this terribly cheesy image was flashing behind the speakers at the Republican hate fest in Minnesota.) Good night America and thank you for voting -- just so you could get a free cup of Starbucks coffee.

Socialism abounds! Free candy for the masses!

Today was Phineas' first Halloween. My day started by finding my colleague Tori dressed up as Tom Dunne (pictured above), replete with a baby Finn, a loosened collar and an electronic razor. She even went as far as to buy a wig...but for some reason she bought one with a lot of gray rather than the warm chestnut glow of my glorious mane. Not sure where she was going with that...the one she bought must have been on sale. Phineas came up to West College later in the day and he got to hang out with some of the folks in Molly's office and mine. He was sporting a great Boo! hat given by Dianne (hat shown in the picture with my boss Kathleen Deignan...is there a law against using your child to suck up to your boss?) and also wore assorted Halloween bibs, socks, onesies, etc. So lots of orange and black which fits in very well. We walked to Colleen and Harrison's for our first official trick or treat experience, and got a great Halloween bag for Finn's candy...I look forward to Finn filling it for years to come. I swear I am going to make him go to 50+ houses...go get daddy some candy! Our friends Kevin and Hope stopped by in costume (pirate for Kevin and "harried hedge fund employee just of a train" costume for Hope) and we passed out some candy. Our last trick-or-treater was a solo woman solidly into her 30s trick or treating by herself...she kept asking Kevin if they went to high school together. Hey, I can't blame her, she is out there networking, meeting the neighbors, mining dating prospects and washing it all down with free Almond Joys. But, our rule is when the adults without children start coming to the door it is time to snuff the candles in the pumpkins and shut it down. We hope everyone had a great Halloween!

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that the second picture is of Finn's costume....a dinosaur or dragon. The good news is that Phineas is in a major growth binge...the bad news is that he got too big for the halloween costume we bought about a week ago...so, we put it on one of Finn's bears. Dang, would have been cute.

Blog Contest: Name the New Chariot

The blog is running our first contest! As many of you know, Phineas is fond of rolling through town in "The Blue Thunder" our navy blue pram. Molly, our in house Craigslist wizard, found this red jogging stroller, which I believe is the 37th motion/carrier related item we had to buy for Finn. In this case, Molly kept circling back to the "jogging" feature of this stroller, as in "wouldn't it be fun to take Finn jogging?" Gee, Molly, I don't know how hard it is to find a babysitter willing to jog the baby. I did go online to find at attachment which would allow me to hook (safely of course, which reflector lights and everything) the stroller to the PT Cruiser. That I wouldn't mind and I think Finn would enjoy the fresh air.

So, on to the contest. We have been enjoying the red stroller thing but it is a bit lame to hear Molly say, "no, not Blue Thunder, the red stroller." Anti-climatic...just sets you off on a sucky walk. So, post a name for the new stroller (pictured above) and/or vote for the name you like the best. The winning name will not only get the naming rights to the hot new wheels, but I will also send out Phineas' first play list with 37 solid songs. I look forward to your suggestions!

Happy Anniversary Finn

Finn is a month old (if the self serving picture didn't already give it away). When his hands aren't swaddled in blankets or ensconced in little girly mitts with lace trim, he taught himself to write and made this sign himself. His first one said "Save Me" but Molly and I thought it a bit Evangelical so I tore it up. This time he followed directions....his printing is pretty good but the baby down the street is writing in cursive so he has to put down the Wii and hit the primer books. In the second picture with the pacifier (can we call it a mouth Gandhi? No, that is offensive. Other famous pacifists? Jesus-- uh, also totally not appropriate. Jimmy Carter...a mouth Jimmy or a mouth Carter? Not sure. Ok I am moving off this. Email me if you know of a famous pacifist with a catchy name not tied to a major religion or culture) o.k digression over, back to the baby...in the second picture we think he looks like he is coyly waving hello to us. How cute. Although, his babysitter is a Rollin' 20's Crip so maybe Finn is showing some love for his people in the 213. West side is the right side.