Because she is in LABOR. Get it? Labor= democratic support... Heeeyyy oh! (Ed McMahon voice). Thank you. I'll be here at the Mirage all week...be kind to your servers they've been kind to you.
In addition to establishing that the baby is actually coming, we have also established that I am too immature for medical situations. Molly has put me in a "silent reflection" program which is how I ended up here updating the blog. She is really doing well...I am equally proud of how brave she is being and thankful that it is not my job to deliver this baby. I love how she politely declines from answering questions because she is having a contraction, and then apologizes for interrupting the story/questions from the nurse. The whole experience has been overwhelming and surreal. During the contractions, Molly hasn't had the highest appreciation for my breathing techniques. I keep telling her that jealousy has no place in the delivery room, but I do think she is threatened a bit by my command of the techniques. I also learned I am not supposed to be in her sight line during a contraction. Nor am I supposed to be eating a cookie. The contractions are actually quite a bit of work and concentration for both of us.
The baby is fine and everyone says it is beautiful....based on what I don't know since it is still inside Molly and no one is doing an ultrasound or anything. Apparently 145 heartbeats per minute passes for "beautiful" up here. It's just like grade inflation...rather than praising the specific heartbeat performance of the baby, we lavish the flattering term "beautiful" on the whole baby himself/herself. This of course will cause our baby to expect unearned praise throughout it's life and we will be stuck with him deep into his twenties, living on the third floor of our house surrounded by countless "participation" soccer trophies, while occasionally covering the night shift in a comics book store. Role playing games will undoubtedly be involved throughout his early adulthood. Maybe a pet reptile.
S/He needs to be Palinized...you know, go out and kill a moose with your bare hands and then move rapidly from cutting ribbons at Walmart knock off stores in (extreme) suburban Alaska to having sassy hockey-mom trade talks with V. Putin--all without having to remove your $800 everyday American mom designer glasses to wipe the sweat off your smooth, unnervingly worry-free beauty contestant brow. Oh, a dad can dream can't he?
Speaking of tough frontier women, when we came in to get a "look see" last night, they hooked Molly up to a monitor and looked at a graft that to me seemed to be replicating Bryce Cannon in Arizona. Apparently the buttes were contractions. They kept looking at Molly and then looking at the monitor and saying "You don't feel that? Nothing?" Molly of course was embarrassed by all the attention and starting talking to the nurses about their families, hometowns, etc...she wanted everyone to feel comfortable and not put out by the imposition of her apparent labor in the middle of the night. I thought she was going to break into an info session for Princeton. Other nurses came in to look at her monitor and marvel over the woman of steel. They seem less impressed with me (but they hadn't seen my breathing techniques or my command of the information given during the various birthing classes). Even now that it is getting harder, she is just stoically enduring the pain...she looks like one of those Dustbowl women in Dorthea Lange's photographs. Resolute to it all but somehow saintly in her misery. We will see....there is a Pakastani family next store and it seems like there are alot of extended family in there so perhaps I can get in on that action. My breathing techniques cross all language barriers...I will probably be asked to volunteer at the hospital. With the baby I am not sure if I will have the time, but I do love to be of service to mankind...
I will try and get a web feed going for the birth. I haven't talked to Molly about it yet but I think she will be thrilled as she has been very impressed with my new found computer skills.
Birthday shout outs to Kevin Bracken!!! He is kind to share the day with Baby Yoda. Kevin works for Budweiser which basically means you can tie one on for your birthday and put it on your corporate account. Pretty good deal if you can get it.
OK, Molly needs some of my support. She isn't asking but I can tell. I am going to wake her up and tell her to breath, focus, and that I am here for her. Wish me luck!!!
In addition to establishing that the baby is actually coming, we have also established that I am too immature for medical situations. Molly has put me in a "silent reflection" program which is how I ended up here updating the blog. She is really doing well...I am equally proud of how brave she is being and thankful that it is not my job to deliver this baby. I love how she politely declines from answering questions because she is having a contraction, and then apologizes for interrupting the story/questions from the nurse. The whole experience has been overwhelming and surreal. During the contractions, Molly hasn't had the highest appreciation for my breathing techniques. I keep telling her that jealousy has no place in the delivery room, but I do think she is threatened a bit by my command of the techniques. I also learned I am not supposed to be in her sight line during a contraction. Nor am I supposed to be eating a cookie. The contractions are actually quite a bit of work and concentration for both of us.
The baby is fine and everyone says it is beautiful....based on what I don't know since it is still inside Molly and no one is doing an ultrasound or anything. Apparently 145 heartbeats per minute passes for "beautiful" up here. It's just like grade inflation...rather than praising the specific heartbeat performance of the baby, we lavish the flattering term "beautiful" on the whole baby himself/herself. This of course will cause our baby to expect unearned praise throughout it's life and we will be stuck with him deep into his twenties, living on the third floor of our house surrounded by countless "participation" soccer trophies, while occasionally covering the night shift in a comics book store. Role playing games will undoubtedly be involved throughout his early adulthood. Maybe a pet reptile.
S/He needs to be Palinized...you know, go out and kill a moose with your bare hands and then move rapidly from cutting ribbons at Walmart knock off stores in (extreme) suburban Alaska to having sassy hockey-mom trade talks with V. Putin--all without having to remove your $800 everyday American mom designer glasses to wipe the sweat off your smooth, unnervingly worry-free beauty contestant brow. Oh, a dad can dream can't he?
Speaking of tough frontier women, when we came in to get a "look see" last night, they hooked Molly up to a monitor and looked at a graft that to me seemed to be replicating Bryce Cannon in Arizona. Apparently the buttes were contractions. They kept looking at Molly and then looking at the monitor and saying "You don't feel that? Nothing?" Molly of course was embarrassed by all the attention and starting talking to the nurses about their families, hometowns, etc...she wanted everyone to feel comfortable and not put out by the imposition of her apparent labor in the middle of the night. I thought she was going to break into an info session for Princeton. Other nurses came in to look at her monitor and marvel over the woman of steel. They seem less impressed with me (but they hadn't seen my breathing techniques or my command of the information given during the various birthing classes). Even now that it is getting harder, she is just stoically enduring the pain...she looks like one of those Dustbowl women in Dorthea Lange's photographs. Resolute to it all but somehow saintly in her misery. We will see....there is a Pakastani family next store and it seems like there are alot of extended family in there so perhaps I can get in on that action. My breathing techniques cross all language barriers...I will probably be asked to volunteer at the hospital. With the baby I am not sure if I will have the time, but I do love to be of service to mankind...
I will try and get a web feed going for the birth. I haven't talked to Molly about it yet but I think she will be thrilled as she has been very impressed with my new found computer skills.
Birthday shout outs to Kevin Bracken!!! He is kind to share the day with Baby Yoda. Kevin works for Budweiser which basically means you can tie one on for your birthday and put it on your corporate account. Pretty good deal if you can get it.
OK, Molly needs some of my support. She isn't asking but I can tell. I am going to wake her up and tell her to breath, focus, and that I am here for her. Wish me luck!!!
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Good Luck! - from Jess, daughter of Trish at the Princeton admissions office, and mom to a 7 week old boy. Hope you have a smooth ride through the birth and newborn parenting process!
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